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Ultimate SuperFlex Dynasty Est. 2021
Dynasty $125 - FFL: Week 2 | NFL: Week 2
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The Stolen Goods Tue Sep 9 6:46pm ET
These comparisons are not perfect. But they're close... Remember. Scared $ Don't Make None!
He Hate ME Now (SF) Tue Sep 9 12:27pm ET
So if I trade for Rattler, will the CIA “take him out” in Dallas against the Cowboys?
The Stolen Goods Tue Sep 9 9:40am ET
Edited: Tue Sep 9 9:48am ET

The product I'm peddling this week is The Rattler, The Rattlesnake himself. Before you dismiss him, please consider Rattler's place in New Orleans Saints history:

Archie Manning = Theodore Roosevelt: Modern American/Saints legend. Big Personality, Big Policy/Play. His legacy lived on through his relative/sons.

Aaron Brooks = Calvin Coolidge: Steady President/QB during a relatively prosperous time for America/Saints. Nothing compared to what comes after, but at the time this was good enough.

Sean Payton = Franklin Delano Roosevelt: One of the most consequential figures in American/Saints history. Took America/Saints from a regional/divisional entity to global/leaguewide dominance.

Drew Brees = Dwight D. Eisenhower: Built the road that pushed America/Saints to new heights, bringing super power status/a championship home.

Spencer Rattler = John F. Kennedy: Camelot. Beautiful. A Prodigy. Built For This. Well known in his youth, maybe some youthful exuberance, but matured into a man that made The Dream come true.

Special Extra!

Tyler Shough/William Henry Harrison: Died/Career ended early. Too old! Never got to govern/play. They say he died in his sleep, but I heard he was secretly shot by some ol' Irish bloke named Kennedy off a curse from Tecumsah

(I don't think Shough had done anything to the Native American community, but I don't know him personally!)

The Stolen Goods Tue Sep 9 8:48am ET
Edited: Tue Sep 9 9:03am ET

I hate it. Josh Downs pushed me to this. Cedric Tillman, you have been promoted! Why won't these damn rookie WRs grow up already... :/

At least the prodigal son Darnell has returned home. There was a full moon on Sunday so it's understandable he was unavailable. 

The Stolen Goods Mon Sep 8 6:00pm ET
Well at least Miami is an awesome place. No offense to my home state Ohio. But even LeBron let us know. :p
He Hate ME Now (SF) Mon Sep 8 5:55pm ET
At least you have won a playoff game in the last quarter century. I was 22 y/o sitting in the endzone Lamar Smith scored TD in OT when Dolphins beat Colts in 2000 WC. I’m 47 now. Not sure why I still subject myself to this crap franchise
The Stolen Goods Mon Sep 8 5:45pm ET
A curse inherited from my father. When I ask him why, like Atlas he shrugs
He Hate ME Now (SF) Mon Sep 8 12:49pm ET
Are you a Browns fan?
The Stolen Goods Mon Sep 8 8:54am ET

If Warren & Fannin are "TEs", I demand Cedric Tillman be listed as a TE immediately!

The Stolen Goods Mon Sep 8 8:34am ET
Edited: Mon Sep 8 8:50am ET

Alright, I tried to break the door down into to KR's facility for Fannin, but I was stiff-armed. 

All I'm going to say about it now is I think it's fucked up these fakes like Warren and Fannin are lying to the people calling themselves TEs. I hate TEs, they're like pineapple on pizza, so if I knew they weren't actually that I would've just taken them myself. Very unfair! Someone needs to do something about this.