The JoeStradamus Preseason Power Rankings Are Back!

What better time to drop them than right before the NFL season kicks off next week? TBL3 is rolling into another year with the same cast of characters, and it’s time to stack up everyone’s offseason moves and see who’s looking like a contender… and who’s already scouting the 2026 draft class.

For context, here’s last year’s scoring recap:

• Sweetness – 6908

• Suhs Anger Management – 6682

• JoeStradamus – 6042

• Worship The Star – 5955

• Dagobah Swamp Force – 5868

• DiBis Dolphins – 5390

• Breaking – 5325

• PA Waggles – 5226

• Magnum – 5204

• Cleveland Mafia – 5177

• Over The Line – 5010

• Pappa's Moonshine – 4869

• The Greatest – 4726

• Palea Kameni – 4632

• The Practice Squad – 4027

• Mean Machine – 3925

After a fun RFA and draft, here’s where everyone shakes out in the 2025 edition of the Power Rankings:

16th – The Practice Squad

(Last year: 1-16 | 3-year avg: 3.6 wins)

The name still fits a little too well — but hey, maybe by next year he can finally upgrade to The Franchise Squad. After a brutal 2024, Mike came into the new season making moves that turned heads: shipping out Lamar for Herbert and two 1sts, plus hoarding BLBs like a doomsday prepper.

RFA didn’t bring much outside of sneaky LB Rozeboom, but the draft saw him swing on Sean Payton’s shiny new pass-catching RB (RJ Harvey) and preseason hype darling Shedeur Sanders.

Right now, this roster only has two top-10 positional studs — Herbert (QB) and LaPorta (TE) — which makes for another long season. But the future is bright: Mike’s sitting on three 1sts next year and the third-most BLBs. It’s painful now, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

15th – Mean Machine

(Last year: 2-15 | 3-year avg: 4.3 wins)

The “Mean Machine” name might need a rebrand… how about The Not-So-Mean Machine? With just 4.3 wins per year across the last three seasons, the only way left to go is up.

To his credit, Chip actually put together a sneaky-good offseason. He walked away from the draft with big names like Jeanty, Egbuka, and Abdul Carter, while tossing darts at high-upside lottery tickets Tre Harris, Jaylin Noel, Isaac TeSlaa, and Troy Horton. If even one of those sticks? This team is cooking.

RFA brought him a couple players I personally had my eye on (DBs Brandon Jones and Quentin Lake), though leaving with 800+ BLBs still in the bank raises an eyebrow. The biggest question mark is at QB, where Daniel Jones doesn’t exactly scream “league winner.” On the bright side, Parsons finally gets DL eligibility (hallelujah), giving Chip a nasty defensive anchor alongside Garrett Wilson and Jeanty.

Still a year away from real contention — but unlike past seasons, this roster finally has a real core to build on.

14th – Palea Kameni

(Last year: 5-12 | 3-year avg: 9.6 wins)

Once upon a time, Palea Kameni was a steady playoff contender. Now? They’re trying to climb out of a 5-win crater. Sliding into the 14th spot, this squad feels less like a volcanic eruption and more like dormant ash. The 3-year average shows there’s upside here, but last season proved that even Josh Allen magic can’t cover all the cracks.

The draft was… intriguing. RB Cam Skattebo and RB Tahj Brooks bring some much-needed youth to a backfield in flux. Travis Hunter might be the ultimate cheat code in an IDP league—scoring on both sides of the ball could tilt weeks in his favor if Jacksonville actually lets him cook. TE Harold Fannin and Oronde Gadsden add depth in a TE-premium format, though both are more developmental stashes than instant answers.

RFA? A total goose egg. No reinforcements, no splashes. That puts even more weight on the stars—QB Josh Allen, TE Evan Engram, TE Jake Ferguson, and LB Terrell Bernard. The sneaky X-factors are WR Ricky Pearsall (already flashing chemistry with Brock Purdy) and Deebo Samuel, who could explode if Washington dials him back up.

But here’s the reality: Palea Kameni needs a lot of breaks to fall their way to bounce back into contention. If the rookies pan out and the bounce-back players actually bounce, this roster could be dangerous again. Until then, “Palea Kameni” feels less like hot lava and more like lukewarm leftovers.

13th – The Greatest

(Last year: 8-9 | 3-year avg: 7.6 wins)

This is the sweet spot in the Power Rankings where you can only applaud TBL3’s depth—when the 13th best team is still capable of winning it all, you know competition is fierce. That said… when you name your team The Greatest, expectations are sky-high. Unfortunately, the record books tell a different story—something closer to The Okay-est. Hovering around .500 for three straight seasons, this squad has mastered the fine art of being perfectly average. Not bad enough for sympathy, not good enough for bragging rights.

This offseason didn’t exactly scream “greatness,” either. The draft was steady, but light on game-changers. Ollie Gordon could carve out a role if Achane’s injury lingers, while RFA was a straight-up home run—locking down elite IDPs like Roquan Smith, Fred Warner, Derwin James, and Kerby Joseph to solidify the defensive core.

The offense? It hinges on bounce-backs. Tua, Chubb, Kupp, and Waddle all need to regain form, while the LeStrape brothers will be tested navigating double-headers without Rashee Rice. On paper, there are no glaring holes, but this roster is banking on a lot of “if’s” coming true.

If The Greatest really wants to live up to his name, it’s going to take more than .500 ball and safe moves. For now, he’s the league’s ultimate measuring stick—beat him, and you’re probably legit; lose to him, and you might just be top-5 draft pick.