The JoeStradamus Preseason Power Rankings Are Back
What better time to drop them than right before the NFL season kicks off next week? TBL3 is rolling into another year with the same cast of characters, and it’s time to stack up everyone’s offseason moves and see who’s looking like a contender… and who’s already scouting the 2026 draft class.
For context, here’s last year’s scoring recap:
Sweetness – 6908
Suhs Anger Management – 6682
JoeStradamus – 6042
Worship The Star – 5955
Dagobah Swamp Force – 5868
DiBis Dolphins – 5390
Breaking – 5325
PA Waggles – 5226
Magnum – 5204
Cleveland Mafia – 5177
Over The Line – 5010
Pappa's Moonshine – 4869
The Greatest – 4726
Palea Kameni – 4632
The Practice Squad – 4027
Mean Machine – 3925
After a fun RFA and draft, here’s where everyone shakes out in the 2025 edition of the Power Rankings:
Last year: 1-16 | 3-year avg: 3.6 wins
The name still fits a little too well — but hey, maybe by next year he can finally upgrade to The Franchise Squad. After a brutal 2024, Mike came into the new season making moves that turned heads: shipping out Lamar for Herbert and two 1sts, plus hoarding BLBs like a doomsday prepper.
RFA didn’t bring much outside of sneaky LB Rozeboom, but the draft saw him swing on Sean Payton’s shiny new pass-catching RB (RJ Harvey) and preseason hype darling Shedeur Sanders.
Right now, this roster only has two top-10 positional studs — Herbert (QB) and LaPorta (TE) — which makes for another long season. But the future is bright: Mike’s sitting on three 1sts next year and the third-most BLBs. It’s painful now, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Ceiling: A few young players flash and he plays spoiler late in the year
Floor: Another 2–3 win season while stockpiling for 2026
Last year: 2-15 | 3-year avg: 4.3 wins
The “Mean Machine” name might need a rebrand… how about The Not-So-Mean Machine? With just 4.3 wins per year across the last three seasons, the only way left to go is up.
To his credit, Chip actually put together a sneaky-good offseason. He walked away from the draft with big names like Jeanty, Egbuka, and Abdul Carter, while tossing darts at high-upside lottery tickets Tre Harris, Jaylin Noel, Isaac TeSlaa, and Troy Horton. If even one of those sticks? This team is cooking.
RFA brought him a couple players I personally had my eye on (DBs Brandon Jones and Quentin Lake), though leaving with 800+ BLBs still in the bank raises an eyebrow. The biggest question mark is at QB, where Daniel Jones doesn’t exactly scream “league winner.” On the bright side, Parsons finally gets DL eligibility (hallelujah), giving Chip a nasty defensive anchor alongside Garrett Wilson and Jeanty.
Still a year away from real contention — but unlike past seasons, this roster finally has a real core to build on.
Ceiling: Respectable climb into the middle tier, flirting with 7–8 wins
Floor: QB woes sink him back near the bottom
Last year: 8-9 | 3-year avg: 5.7 wins
Chris’s squad has lived in a constant state of mediocrity, and this offseason didn’t do much to change that. Free agency was a ghost town, and the draft followed his familiar “Buckeye or bust” strategy with Jack Sawyer and Will Howard. Maybe being newly married has shifted his focus away from fantasy football — understandable, but it shows on the roster sheet.
There are a few bright spots, but more often than not this team feels like it’s waiting for the right time to cash out on names like George Kittle, Kyle Pitts, or Dak Prescott. For now, Over the Line has officially crossed into the basement, sliding into the 14th spot.
Ceiling: If veterans stay healthy, he’s a sneaky dark horse wild-card team
Floor: Falls into full rebuild mode and stays locked in the basement
Last year: 5-12 | 3-year avg: 9.6 wins
Once upon a time, Palea Kameni was a steady playoff contender. Now? They’re trying to climb out of a 5-win crater. Sitting at 13th, this squad feels less like a volcanic eruption and more like dormant ash. The 3-year average shows there’s upside here, but last season proved that even Josh Allen magic can’t cover all the cracks.
The draft was… intriguing. RB Cam Skattebo and RB Tahj Brooks bring some much-needed youth to a backfield in flux. Travis Hunter might be the ultimate cheat code in an IDP league — scoring on both sides of the ball could tilt weeks in his favor if Jacksonville actually lets him cook. TE Harold Fannin and Oronde Gadsden add depth in a TE-premium format, though both are more developmental stashes than instant answers.
RFA? A total goose egg. No reinforcements, no splashes. That puts even more weight on the stars — QB Josh Allen, TE Evan Engram, TE Jake Ferguson, and LB Terrell Bernard. The sneaky X-factors are WR Ricky Pearsall (already flashing chemistry with Brock Purdy) and Deebo Samuel, who could explode if Washington uses him properly.
But here’s the reality: Palea Kameni needs a lot of breaks to fall their way to bounce back into contention. If the rookies pan out and the bounce-back players actually bounce, this roster could be dangerous again. Until then, “Palea Kameni” feels less like hot lava and more like lukewarm leftovers.
Ceiling: A bounce-back year pushes him back into playoff contention
Floor: Another 5-win season stuck in the rebuild gray zone
Last year: 11-6 | 3-year avg: 11 wins
Is it time for Breaking to finally… take a break from the playoffs? Last season Marc made a huge in-season splash, trading for CeeDee Lamb and Kaden Elliss, which carried him to a strong 4th place finish. On paper, Lamb and Elliss, paired with studs Travis Kelce and Budda Baker, keep him competitive. But after that, things get dicey. Aaron Rodgers is battling father time, David Montgomery is the only RB with a clear role, and a WR group of Romeo Doubs and Jayden Higgins isn’t exactly scaring anyone.
The draft and free agency added some bodies, but no sure-fire difference makers. And while Marc has always been crafty on the trade market (especially convincing Mean Machine into deals), this year the mountain looks steeper. The foundation is still there, but the depth is questionable. The playoff streak might be in danger — Breaking could finally be… breaking down.
Ceiling: The stars carry him into another low-seed playoff spot
Floor: Rodgers busts, RB depth collapses, and he misses the playoffs entirely
Last year: 8-9 | 3-year avg: 7.6 wins
This is the part of the Power Rankings where TBL3’s depth really shows. Even at 11th, The Greatest could still push for a playoff spot if the stars align. But let’s be honest: when you name your team The Greatest, .500 football doesn’t quite live up to the billing. Over the last three seasons, this squad has been the master of mediocrity — never bad enough for pity, never good enough for bragging rights.
This offseason wasn’t jaw-dropping either. The draft was steady, but no blockbuster talent arrived. RFA was the real highlight, bringing in LB studs Roquan Smith and Fred Warner plus DB anchors Derwin James and Kerby Joseph — giving the IDP side a true boost. On offense, it comes down to bounce-backs: Tua, Chubb, Kupp, and Waddle need to stay healthy and productive. Add in some help from Ollie Gordon (if Achane falters) and maybe the LeStrape brothers can weather double headers without Rashee Rice drama.
Overall, this team has no glaring holes, but also no overwhelming strength. If The Greatest wants to live up to his name, he’ll need more than safe moves and .500 ball. For now, he’s the league’s measuring stick — beat him, and you’re decent. Lose to him, and you’re probably Over the Line.
Ceiling: A healthy year from the offense pushes him into the top-6
Floor: Mediocre again, stuck at .500 with no playoff berth
Last year: 6-11 | 3-year avg: 9 wins
Free agency came and went, and Jason didn’t exactly load up the still. The only notable starters added were Joe Flacco and Andrew Van Ginkel. The draft, however, brought in three rookie RBs — Kaleb Johnson, Kyle Monangai, and Jayden Blue — each with a chance to carve out a role this season.
What this roster does have is high-end star power. Amon-Ra St. Brown is a weekly lineup lock, Bucky Irving offers upside, and when healthy, Christian McCaffrey is a cheat code capable of being the #1 overall scorer. Add in reliable depth with Darnell Mooney, Christian Kirk, and Tyreek Hill, and there’s enough firepower here to compete every week.
But the cracks are obvious. A glaring hole at QB, an uninspiring TE situation, and a defense that’s very mid across the board could cap the ceiling. Jason’s squad has the top-end juice to scare anyone, but unless the new RB rookies hit or some waiver-wire magic is brewed, this batch of Moonshine might finish more watered down than top shelf.
Ceiling: Top-6 finish if CMC stays healthy and rookie RBs pop
Floor: QB/TE struggles leave him in the 7–9 win purgatory
Last year: 8-9 | 3-year avg: 9.3 wins
Coming into free agency, Waggles had depth but lacked true top-tier punch. He addressed that a bit by adding Nick Bolton — once a top 3 LB — and Xavier McKinney, a top-6 scoring DB. Eyes will be on where Kyzir White lands and what kind of workload JK Dobbins can carve out.
The draft brought in some intrigue, too: Colston Loveland to eventually succeed (or at least complement) the aging Mark Andrews, plus the Browns RB tandem of Quinshon Judkins (still unsigned) and Dylan Sampson. Pair those moves with the core of Davante Adams, Jerry Jeudy, and Devonta Smith, and Jason has enough skill talent to hang around in the playoff conversation.
Still, it feels like a “wait and see” roster. If the RB room doesn’t hit quickly or the defense doesn’t stabilize, PA Waggles may find himself looking to sell pieces by midseason. A lot could hinge on how he navigates the early doubleheader weeks — he could be launching play action deep, or punting to reload for next year.
Ceiling: Slips into the playoffs as a dangerous low seed
Floor: Starts slow and sells off by midseason
Last year: 10-7 | 3-year avg: 9 wins
Has anyone checked in on Chad? As a massive Cowboys fan, someone might need to do a wellness check after the blockbuster Micah Parsons trade!
All jokes aside, Worship the Star has been a playoff contender the past two seasons — can he make it three straight? Free agency looked strong at the time, adding two high-end names in Joe Mixon and Chig Okonkwo. But Mixon has been radio silent all offseason, then popped up in a boot, missed camp, and now rumors swirl about extended time off. If Mixon can’t go, it leaves a noticeable gap, even on what is otherwise a position of strength.
WTS doubled down by trading picks to secure Jonathan Taylor, then grabbed Matthew Golden in the draft (a name I personally have everywhere in best ball). Pair that with Baker Mayfield, James Conner, Ladd McConkey, and Mike Evans, and this offense is set up to put up points.
Defensively, there’s no shortage of star power with Aidan Hutchinson, Julian Love, and Brian Branch anchoring things. The concern? Depth. The starters look strong, but the bench doesn’t inspire much confidence. That could mean Chad will need to be aggressive on the trade market — or pounce on the Week 1 waiver wire to keep momentum.
Ceiling: Another playoff push
Floor: Injuries expose the thin depth and he slides out of contention
Last year: 7-10 | 3-year avg: 6.3 wins
Much like his beloved Browns, there’s always optimism surrounding Cleveland Mafia — and this year is no different. In free agency, CM added David Njoku and Yaya Diaby, but the real storyline is Frank’s stockpile of BLBs. Sitting on 900+ like Uncle Scrooge hoarding gold coins, you have to wonder: what would happen if he ever actually spent them?
The draft brought in training camp darling TreVeyon Henderson along with intriguing young pieces Mason Graham, Kyle Williams, and Dont’e Thornton. Pair that with an already solid core of Kyler Murray, Alvin Kamara, Chase Brown, Brian Thomas Jr., and Tony Pollard, and you’ve got an offense that can pop off any week. On defense, the only true game-changer right now is Foye Oluokun, but that’s a heck of a centerpiece.
If the Mafia ever loosens the purse strings and invests those BLBs into some defensive upgrades, this team could be a real threat. Until then, it’s a wait-and-see if Frank chooses to play banker or contender.
Ceiling: A couple breakout rookies and some BLB spending push CM into the playoff hunt
Floor: Kyler sputters, vets decline, and Frank’s BLBs collect dust in another bottom-tier season
6th – JoeStradamus (Last year 11-6, last 3 year ave wins 9.7)
This is the fun one—it’s my team! Like Nostradamus, I try to predict the future, and I believe I’ve set myself up to contend again. Every move I made this offseason? Clearly fantastic (at least in my book). Free agency was my playground, adding 18 players, highlighted by re-signing Patrick Mahomes, keeping surprise top-5 LB Jamien Sherwood, and securing both Vikings RBs Aaron Jones and Jordan Mason. For depth, I grabbed Sam Darnold and top-20 LB Demario Davis, while also taking a shot at Demario “Pop” Douglas—maybe the next slot WR gem in a Josh McDaniels offense (see: Edelman, Amendola, Renfrow).
The draft was more late-round darts, but compensation may have landed me a hidden gem in Jacory Crosky Merritt. My clear strength is at linebacker—I’ve got six top-20 guys (Franklin, Spillane, Sherwood, Edwards, David, Davis) in a 16-team league, which is no joke. TE premium is another edge: McBride, Henry, Strange, Waller, Smith—just catch 3 balls each, please! On top of that, guys like Chuba Hubbard, DJ Moore, Calvin Ridley, and Danielle Hunter give me strong weekly firepower. My biggest hole? DB. But I’ve patched that mid-season before, and I’ll do it again.
Ceiling: A top contender who rides LB dominance and TE premium depth to another double-digit win season.
Floor: DB holes and boom-or-bust WRs derail momentum, forcing a scrappy fight just to make the playoffs.
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The JoeStradamus Preseason Power Rankings Are Back |